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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

6 Reasons to Hate the Nuge

Ted Nugent is the biggest asshole in the history of rock n’ roll. To even call his music rock is an insult to rock. So let me rephrase. The “Nuge” is the biggest asshole in all of white trash america. This statement is true for the following reasons:

#1- His music sucks. If “Cat Scratch Fever” is the best this cocksucker has to offer, then he ranks right up there with Ashley Simpson and Milli Vanilli. He still gloats about selling out shows in the 1970’s. Hey Teddy, that doesn’t mean shit. Look at New Kids on the Block, they sold out a ton of concerts and they sucked almost as much as you do.

#2- He kills animals with a bow and arrow. It’s bad enough fat fucking rednecks kill innocent animals with guns, but a bow and arrow? C’mon man, that’s like downgrading from a mobile home to a trailer. Hunting is for primates who haven’t evolved yet.

#3- He’s an ugly, almost fugly, looking creature who thinks women actually want him. I guess some do. Mainly the one’s with feathered hair, fat asses, fatter guts, no teeth, and who like to be treated like shit. I wouldn’t call the Nuge a sexist, because you need to be a little bit human for that. Growing up, my neighbor had a smelly dog that always used to hump the apple tree outside. That’s Ted.

#4- Apparently he’s a racist too according to a recent Live radio interview he did. Yeah, no surprise there. He even got dropped from a festival due to his “racial slurs”. He’s not even a dog, because even dogs have more respect and brains than that. So I’m gonna have to drop the Nuge to a rat now.

#5- In the late 60’s Jimi Hendrix offered him a joint and the Nuge supposedly declined because he was “straight”. What a fucking dickhead. If Jimi offered you a smoke, you fucking smoke. It was Jimi Hendrix for fucks sake. If Jimi said, “Hey Ted, suck my dick”, you’d better have said “how hard?”…That’s even admitting that Ted didn’t do drugs. His first band, the Amboy Dukes, put out a record with a bunch of pipes and such on the cover. It was called “Journey to the Center of the Mind”….remember, the Nuge was straight. About as straight as a fucking crack whore.


#6- Teddy has such a hard on for Dubya that he now lives in good ole’ Crawford, TexAss. Oh man, even rats aren’t Republican. Ted is now the equivalent to a cockroach. He’s an ugly, slimey, little fucking roach. And you know what we do when there’s a roach problem…we gas the fuckers!

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuckin A Dag! Nuge is a slimey, Republi-scum ass -sucker! He once said, and I quote, "to take on a deer, you gotta be locked, cocked and ready to rock!"....too bad the deer couldnt have had an AK and made it really even. What a lump of vile, steaming dog shit.

May 26, 2005 9:25 PM  

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