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Wednesday, February 23, 2005

To Serve Korn (It's a Cookbook!!!)

Oh man, this shit is funny. Some dipshit guitarist from Korn is leaving the band because he found “God”. Once your band members are jumping ship for God, I think it might be time to end it. I mean Korn has never been more irrelevant then they are now. The only people still listening to Bro-Metal live in Nebraska or some other equally backwards ass hick state.

The only thing I can say to Korn is “God” can’t save you now brah. You guys signed that deal…no, that contract with the Devil and you can’t go back on your word now. El Diablo promised you ass clowns success. Don’t cry because it was only limited success. Even the Devil can’t make frat boys listen to that crap any longer than 2 years. You, Limp Biscuit, Linkin Park….all you fuckheads better make good on your promise to Mr. Pitchfork. He wants your pathetic souls and no religious deity is gonna save your ass.

Anyway, you can read the full story below if you care. It was reported in CNN….CNN? Is Korn still considered news? Whateva.


Korn guitarist finds God, leaves band
NEW YORK (Billboard) -- Korn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch has parted ways with the hard rock act, citing a recent religious awakening.


Welch broke the news Sunday on Bakersfield, California, station KRAB-FM.
"I had it in my heart to come here and explain to you," Welch said. "I'm good friends with Korn. I love those guys, and they love me, and they're very happy for me."

Addressing the aggressive tone of the music he made with Korn, Welch said, "Anger is a good thing, and if kids want to listen to Korn, good, but there's happiness after the anger. I'm going to show it through my actions how much I love my fans."

Welch added that he would be appearing at a local church on February 27, during which time he would "speak (about) how I got to this place in my life, and I'll answer all your questions."

On its official Web site (http://www.korn.com), Korn's remaining members said they respect Welch's wishes and hope "he finds the happiness he is searching for." The group is in the studio working on a new album, due in September, which will be its first since fulfilling its contract with Epic last year.

For now, no replacement for Welch has been named, nor has a new label home for the band.

1 Comments:

Blogger Ray Bridges said...

I noticed our Korn buddy got himself baptized in the River Jordan today or this week-end or whenever. Looked an awful lot like Jesus, if you ask me. I think the dude's been tripping on acid. I got there once, but I never thought I looked like Jesus, if you know what I mean.

March 06, 2005 9:55 PM  

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