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Thursday, May 12, 2005

Motley Crue Looks for Last Remaining Fan

It appears Mötley Crüe think they’re Columbo now. You can read the full article on Blabbermouth or you can read the EXCLUSIVE unedited version of the first paragraph. Yeah, I’m doing the new drywall up at that new McDonalds and writing for Fox in my spare time.


MÖTLEY CRÜE Team Up With 'America's Most Wanted' To Find Missing Fan(s)- May 12, 2005

When MÖTLEY CRÜE took the stage at a recent (county fair) concert, the band received some startling news (#1 that nobody showed up and #2 that Mick Mars actually is a zombie/alien transvestite). Just weeks before, one of their devoted Baltimore fans had simply vanished (into thin air) on her way to (a meth house and) their March 6, 2005, concert in Washington, DC. Her friends say that she wouldn't have missed this concert for the world (but maybe for some meth). Loyalty means a lot to the band and especially to Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx (because this is all that they have left), so they decided to team up with "America's Most Wanted" (and Coors) to find their missing fan(s). They're offering a $10,000 reward (paid in monthly installments of $5) to bring this woman home (or at least to one of their shows). Tune in as MÖTLEY CRÜE (and Scőoby Dőo) joins the "AMW" crew to help find a missing rock 'n' roll fan on "America's Most Wanted: America (Strikes First) Fights Back" Saturday, May 14 (9:00-10:00 p.m. ET/PT) on Fox.


In all seriousness, now that Mötley Crüe is on the job I have no doubts that these guys will crack the case. I mean just look at them….

I’m feeling pretty confidant.
If that doesn’t work I heard Brett Michaels and Poison are free. But I don’t think there’s much of a mystery. Either Mick Mars ate her or The chick probably just woke up that morning, looked in the mirror and said to herself, “What the fuck am I doing still going to Mötley Crüe concerts? Jesus Christ, look at my hair! I haven’t changed styles since 1983. I gotta leave the state and get new a new life”. There you go, case closed. And I didn’t even need a full 1-hour for that shit. (And is it just me or does the missing chick look like David Coverdale?) Holy shit! David Coverdale is a Mötley Crüe fan!!!!

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