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Thursday, May 05, 2005

Tom & Jerry

Nicole Kidman isn’t all that, but she did have a great ass in Eyes Wide Shut.

That right there is a little piece of heaven.


Now let me show you a little piece of Hell....
YIKES!
Katie Holmes has always struck me as a little elf with a crooked mouth. Now she looks like a little troll (with a crooked mouth). It looks like Tom Cruise put her through some crazy ass Scientology boot camp where she was tag teamed by Kirstie Alley and John Travolta. I can imagine Kirstie Alley forcing her to eat out her fat prickly gash and following up with a beat down from John Travolta’s ugly stick while they both shout quotes from Look Who’s Talking. Afterwards Tom would walk in saying the following in his best Christopher Walken impression, “I know it ain't any kind of fun, but for what I have to offer you, that's as good as it's gonna get. And it's never gonna get that good again”.


According to Jerry “I’m scamming handicapped kids” Lewis, Frank Sinatra was the mafia’s bitch. Yeah, thanks for the update Jerry. But he does tell a somewhat interesting story on how Ol’ Blue Eyes almost got pinched.

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